The Official Rules of the Internet

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The Official Rules of the Internet Empty The Official Rules of the Internet

Post by TheCollectiveUnconscious on Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:41 am

Rules of the Internet
actual rules in red, others don't actually exist. no exceptions

i. You can't the square root of a negative integer.

-8. combo breaker i am the combo breaker. the combo breaker is the law and the law is the law so who say you? combo breaker or combo breaker? combo breaker combo! breaker! combo breaker! so its now or never!

-7. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.


-5. No moar negative rules.

-4. Rule 210. must be followed or you are breaking rule 100. No exceptions.

-3. Every rule above 100 must be followed. No exceptions.

-2. Never cuss any canadians.

-1. Rule 0 does not exist.

0. There are no rules after 0.

1. Do not talk about /b/

2. Do NOT talk about /b/

2.1337. You can't edit rule 2, newfags. 2.13337. By editing rule 2 you will never have sex in your life. EVER. No exceptions.

3. We are Anonymous.

3.14159265358979323846... . Expect us.

4. Anonymous is legion.

5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.

6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.

7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.

8. There are no real rules about posting.

9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.

10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.

11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.

12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

13. Anything you say can be turned into something else. - fixed

14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.

15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.

16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.

17. Every win fails eventually.

18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.

19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.

20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.

21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.

22. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality.

23. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality.

24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost.

25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.

26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.

27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.

28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.

29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents.

30. There are NO girls on the internet.

31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.

32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.

33. Lurk moar — it's never enough.

34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.

35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made.

36. There will always be more fucked up deficate than what you just saw.

37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).

38. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky



41. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.

42. Nothing is Sacred.

43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.

44. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo.

45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car

46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.

47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).

48. A cat is fine too.

49. One cat leads to another.

50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.

51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.

52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.

53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.

54. /b/ sucks today.

55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.

56. They will not bring back Snacks.

57. You will never have sex.

58. It needs more Desu. No exceptions.

59. limey Gaston.

60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.

61. Chuck Norris is the exception to Rule #63, no exceptions or else.

62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.

63. There are female versions of all male characters. No Exceptions.

64. Don't copy that floppy

65. Anonymous is not your personal army.

66. The cake is a lie.

67. Anonymous does not "buy", he downloads.

68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.


70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.

71. The internet is SERIOUS britishing BUSINESS.

72. Chuck Norris is your father. No exceptions.

73. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.

74. If you post it, they will cum.

75. Rule 75 is a lie. OH SHI-

76. Twinkies are the answers to life's problems.

77. The internet makes you stupid.

78. It will always need moar sauce.

79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate

80. Ebaums did it. No exceptions.

81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.

82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet

83. Only clusterfucks start edit wars.

84. All rules aren't true, including this one.

84-B. Sub-rules are forbidden.

85. Rules 1, 2, 34, and 35 are exeptions to rule 84.

86. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.

87. If you say Candlejack, you w

88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.

89. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all.

90. It's never lupus.

91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.

92. Chuck Norris is the exception to rule 91. No exceptions.

93. Go limey yourself.


95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar|?

96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.

97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.

98. Only Zippocat is truth.

99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.

100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.

101. You are never THE BEST suck at anyeverything, deal with it.

102. You are made of fail and AIDS.

103. That's not mud.

104. The internet is for porn.

105. Rule 71 is SERIOUS britishing BUSINESS.

106. Rule 109 is true.

107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid


109. Rule 106 is false.

110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.

111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.

112. What you click isn't always what you get.

113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads. But ask anyway.

114. Secure tripcodes are for fags.

115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.

116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.

117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.

118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.

119. Only newfags like caturday, Chuck Norris, and Desu limey with The Rules.

120. Nobody likes you.

121. Co$ is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.

122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris).

123. 456789

124. When Anonymous is surprised, bricks must be shat.

125. If you have no bricks to deficate, you are made of fail and AIDS.

126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.

127. No NewFaggots aloud.

128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing

| _
| ___/ \
e| ____/ \
|/ \

As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

129. BOTS will be dismantled.

130. Internet = Very Scary

131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.

132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris) No other exceptions.

133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating a one armed lady hooker named Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)

134. If it talks, you must shut it up.

135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.

136. _uck _ou_self solve it.

137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.

138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.

139. Rule 138 is true.

140. XKCD can explain everything. explain it or it goes.

141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.

142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.

143. If you ignore her, she will female canine.

144. People can't understand sarcasm.

145. If you take it seriously gtfo.

146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.

147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.

148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.

149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris has no son.

150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.

151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.

152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.

153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.

154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.

155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.

156. If you want to know who anonymous is then GTFO!

157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.

158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.

159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".

160. Google ftw. No exceptions.

161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.

162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a deficate.

163. There's a reason- you know what? limey it. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MOAR.

164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.

165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.

166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.

167. Fleshlights are the answers to life's problems. No exceptions.

168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're retarded because no one can act drunk on the internet.

169? Nah I'll have 2 69s.

170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.

171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.

172. Use inside jokes moar. It upsets users.

173. STFU! Before i go chris brown on you!

174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.

175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.

176. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.

177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions

178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.

179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.

180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.

181. Anything that's good is a virus.

182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!

183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's

184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)

185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman, except the internet has porn.

186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on site. No exceptions

188. If none of these rules are followed/obliged to then Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you to Mars.

189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!

190. The only good hentai is yuri, thats how the internet works.

191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.

192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.

193. If you break rule 188. You will be spanked by Chuck Norris. In heaven. No exceptions.

194. If you break rule 2, Chuck Norris will tickle your pubes.

195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.

196. People named Tony are just win. No Exceptions.

197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.

198. If it's not on Google, It doesn't exist. No Exceptions.

199. "???? PROFIT!" must always be at the bottom, newfags.

200. Pictures or it didn't happen.

201. Maths in failing:

Win + Fail = Epicfail Fail + Fail = Win Win + Win = Fail Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris No exceptions

202. Anontalk is a bunch of fags. No exceptions.

203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.

204. NEVER shoot anybody in the balls. No exceptions.

205. Americans are fat. No exceptions.

206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequenses. You have been warned.

207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.

208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are false. /b/ does not exist.

209. See rule 208.

210. See rule 209.

211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.

212. 4chan sucks. No exceptions.

213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.

214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.

215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.

216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!

217. Creator of 4chan is gay. No exceptions.

218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.

219. Google is not a calculator



222. Matt has a girlfriend. No Exceptions

223. Only faggots post rules above "PROFIT!". No Exceptions.

224. All rules above "PROFIT!" don't count. No Exceptions.

225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS

226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.

227. Creed is the worst band in the world. No exceptions

228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.

229. You never see the porn first, even if you made or drew it. No exceptions.

230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.

231. The number of friends you have on facebook does not indicate the number of friends you have in reallife. no exceptions.

232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.

233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.

234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204

234. ????

235. PROFIT!

299. This is blasphemy, this is madness. No exceptions

300. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.

404. This rule was not found.

666. Humanity is evil. No exceptions.

9001. It's over 9000. No exceptions SDZFREE-030-0119071-YVE-001-OBVWTWU


The Official Rules of the Internet Trainercard
Forum Tech-Wizard
Forum Tech-Wizard

Number of posts : 518
Age : 28
Registration date : 2010-02-05

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